Tinryland (which by the way is pronounced as Tiny-ry-land by English folks) native Paddy O’Toole got so fed up being clamped in the last month in Carlow town that decided to clamp his own “fecking Car”. “Enough is enough” decried Paddy “because each time I park in Carlow I got clamped and it cost me fecking €80 each time”. He adds “I went to get change for the ticket machine and when I came back there was a clamp on my car and I tried to explain to the clamper that I had to go to get change, but he wasn’t having any of it.” Without coming up for air Paddy continues “The fecker even laughed at me when I said it to him, so I paid the fine and went on my way and then next time it happened I was putting the money in the ticket machine and it jammed up; again I was clamped, so I said “Feck it and Feck you, ya fecking clamper, I will have the last laugh here so I will, ya bollix!”
Paddy’s eyes light up at this bit “so off I goes to Halfords and I forked out for four clamps and now when I go to Carlow town I clamp all four wheels and I even got these cool Up yours stickers just to piss him off” he chortles.
Clamping boss Ivan Petrovoski Przybyszewski (or Yogi to his mates) said “this is breach of code of business, not fair, not fair, need make living. the drań” (which Joe thinks is something not very nice in Polish). Paddy now goes to Carlow especially for the craic and has his own You Tube channel with thousands of subscribers.
Scallionater News 