A crisis meeting was called today by concerned residents in the local County Carlow village of Borris. Local people are up in arms about the jokes and jibes that are been taken out on Tory Leader hopeful Boris Johnson. Frank O’Shea said “Look we are fed up with all the crap about Boris, we all know he is a fecking eejit and a gobshite but this is having an affect on tourism here in our little town just because his name is Boris”
Local woman Sheila Redgrove of 11 Main Street who runs a B&B said “I have had 5 cancelations from Scottish people who said there was no way they were staying in a town called Borris I tried to explain but they were having none of it.”
Other small villages in Tipperary are having to rethink own their village name including Two Mile Borris, Borris-in-Ossory, Borrisokane, Borrisoleigh and local genealogy experts are burning any sort of paper trail that might link Mr. Johnson to their area.
Local tidy towns chairperson Frank Spellman said “Lets not jump to any conclusions we might want a link to him if he becomes prime minister of the UK.”
Frank hasn’t been seen since and is reported missing.