On this the eve of the 12th of July the as Orange order plans its celebrations across the province of Ulster but this year fear has overcome the planned annual festivities.
With the large gatherings of stacked pallet and tyre bonfires there is a more gentle side to the 12th of July. The toasting of Marshmallows and Sausages, but this year with the great summer weather and the BBQ season in full swing there is sadly a massive shortage of sausages and marshmallows for bonfire night.
Orange order spokesperson Malcom Armstrong said “We put all our efforts into getting as many pallets and tyres as possible we forgot about the sausages and the marshmallows the wee uns will be devastated.
Cookstown sausages said that they were at full manufacturing capacity and couldn’t possibly make anymore by tomorrow.
There was an offer from Supervalu down south who make the delicious sausage that was a legacy from Fergal Quinn to supply the Orange order with both marshmallows and sausages but it was rejected by Malcom Armstrong who said “We don’t want any of that Free State shite”
Nationalists on the other hand are having their Annual Fuck the 12th BBQ All Welcome